Presents in Presence

By Valerie Driscoll, Lead Coach and Coaching Program Developer for Apollo Health

I did a 5-day fast* over the recent Thanksgiving Holiday, despite the many kind invitations to join friends for their celebration. This decision might seem a little rash, but I was in my hometown dog-sitting for friends who have a snack and nibbly-bits laden kitchen, where every storage area poses temptation, so I chose to fast instead. I have come far in my KetoFLEX 12/3 practice, but I decided that seven days surrounded by the enemy, with a holiday feast thrown in, might be too much for me.

This particular fast-mimicking plan came in five boxes, labeled Days 1-5. Paraphrasing, the instructions read: If it ain’t in the box, don’t eat it. I have not tried anything like this for a long time, because I have never been successful.

It is amazing how many different ways people can express their judgment of shock/pity/disbelief when one relates news to them as far outside their comfort zone as this plan. I heard a lot of words in the hard/impossible category. Strangely enough, despite my past failures, my mindset around this task felt much lighter, as there were simply no decisions to make for five whole days. I expected the big payoff to be dropping a few pounds and a bit of a digestive reset, rather than the upset that could occur even with a little bit of snacking.

So, I was really surprised when I realized that the biggest benefit of this experience wasn’t physical but rather mental: how present I became when I wasn’t thinking about food and the preparation thereof. When all that is needed for each day’s survival is a box, water, and a pot, about 500,000 gigabytes got freed up in my brain. The five days that I had anticipated thinking only about food became dedicated to using up that brain space in a most interesting way: really paying attention to my moments without the distraction of food thoughts or food actions.

There is a saying in mindfulness that we sit down to every practice as a beginner, and that was certainly true in this case, and as I sat for these five days realizing that even though I had done this process before, I had always done it steeling myself against the inevitable hunger and deprivation; this time I set an intention to be delighted that I had little to do other than enjoy some additional “free” time in the day. Over the days, I realized a lot of things, but mostly that thinking about food takes up a lot of my energy.  This isn’t a new realization, as food has inhabited my brain for most of my life. For years, it was about weight, calories, and overconsumption. Now, of course, it is about health, macros, and best choices. It is a much healthier perspective, but it still takes me away from the present moment more than I knew.

On the morning of day four, I hosted a BYOB (Bring Your Own Breakfast) gathering for friends. I realize that counting making coffee, and place settings is stretching it in the hostess department, but again, my focus became the gathering, and not the food. I wasn’t thinking about choosing the appropriate food or explaining my choices, which often accompanies other gatherings with friends. With no attention being paid to my food, I could focus all of it on the experience itself, and the difference was profound: I felt connected and joyful in a way I hadn’t in a long time. I know that I cannot take care of my health in the way I need to without dedicating a considerable amount of brain power to the task. Food is also a big part of my job as a health coach, but I learned through my Thanksgiving experience that I need to notice when this brain power needs to be turned to an 11 (RIP Rob Reiner), and when it can be a 2. There is so much that is required with this protocol, but it also requires maintaining a balance in one’s life. Moving forward, I want to be more skillful in keeping my balance.

*Note: Valerie Driscoll’s 5-day fast is not part of the Bredesen Protocol.