Habit Change

By Valerie Driscoll, Lead Coach and Coaching Program Developer for Apollo Health

There is a common misconception that ReCODE coaches spend most of our time telling our clients what to eat, the distance to be walked, the amount of time to sleep, or what toxic products to remove from the home. To be sure, we spend time coaching the “what to do” of the protocol, but we also give equal effort to the “how to do it”: our work dives deeply into helping our clients discover ways to create new behaviors aligned with the Bredesen Protocol. We then help sustain those behaviors until they are a habit; a behavior so well entrenched, one barely thinks about it.

Many who struggle with habit change rely on the outdated belief that willpower, strength of character, or discipline are needed to make the necessary lifestyle changes. Unfortunately, this antiquated mindset leads to a high rate of failure. Equally unfortunate is the demographic that most needs this protocol – we, the antique, were raised on this “just do it” mentality. We didn’t know any better, because no one knew any better; the science of behavioral change was in its infancy. Luckily, there has been a boom in research in this area of study, with many thought leaders also translating their work into practical applications.

Those of us who work in the behavior and habit change arena know one thing for sure: sustaining desired habits and breaking those less desirable is all about creating your own skillset or “skill-power” (thanks to researcher Al Switzler for this great term) and relegating willpower, etc., to a minimally used part of said skillset. Discovering one’s skillset is a process of trial and error. In future newsletters, the Apollo Health coaching team is going to share some specific skills for you to try on, so stay tuned.

One foundational skill to practice is how to pay attention. Researcher Judson Brewer of Brown University states it perfectly: “Whatever the behavior is you are trying to change, pay attention when you are doing it.” This is one reason mindfulness is the super-skill of habit change. It teaches us in a very particular way to pay attention. Especially useful (and difficult) in developing this super-skill is to bring self-kindness and compassion to it. Fancy yourself as an observer of what is actually happening rather than the story we tell about it. It may help to picture yourself as a researcher (I call it “MEsearch”): collect data and analyze results as objectively as possible. I got very stressed out — I watched Love Island instead of going to the gym. Observing any behavior without emotion and with curiosity can lead to change.

So, how about a little practice? Pick a habit, any habit, old or new, and let yourself pay attention to it. Start with something easier rather than more challenging, remembering that this is training! Just as you would not begin training for a marathon by running one, start small. Imagine yourself as your own little science experiment. I recently used this skill with a client’s addiction to Irish Spring soap, which he had used for 40+ years, and about which there were many stories. After agreeing to a short break from it, I asked him to really pay attention to the smell of the soap when reintroduced. He found it repulsive!

Recognize that this training is not linear: think spiral rather than vector. As you train yourself in objective observation, you may notice a great deal about your relationship to the behavior. Be open to whatever shows up as useful information rather than an instrument for bludgeoning. Don your lab coat and observe everything that is happening, even sensations in the body. Stay in the noticing as long as you can. As you practice this habit-change skill, it will become a habit itself. The protocol relies on the ability to sustain habits over the long haul — the long haul in this case means forever. The upside to this long habit haul is that “your forever” will be longer and healthier than you might have ever imagined. As I have been writing this piece on habit, the picture of a traditional nun’s habit has been popping up in my head. Could it be a metaphor for developing habit change skills, which requires some maneuvering and practice to don all the layers, but once the habit is inhabited, a loose and comfortable way to move around and explore the world? Try it on and see.